Thursday, October 11, 2012

some things you can't take back

first post with an in-your-face mistake: discord between days and dates.

the first page, marked by this. this, a humbling experience for a perfectionist who veers toward obsessive-compulsive behaviors when the stars misalign.



and ... "doing it over." how many chances does life give us to ... do things over? depends, right? i have found that life and time are kind. often kinder than we are to ourselves. in time, over the span of our lives, our mistakes become a part of our lived life; they become as indicative of us - our quirks and journeys and musings and adventures - as our non-mistakes, aka successes.

do we discard something because it is ill-fitting? or do we reconstruct it? do we put it in a special box for to-be-done/addressed-later projects? i do not think we discard mistakes made along the way. i think we live into them, we extract their essence so that we may transform the ill-fitting experience, maybe adorn it with bells and baubles (to make it less jarring, less ... conspicuous, in a i-meant-to-that kind of way).

was it friday, january 22nd or friday, january 23rd? does it truly matter, in retrospect?

not really.

however, all could be else wise. in an anal-retentive, perfectionistic, obsessive-compulsive-tendencies way, it does matter. it matters because it's a piece of cognitive dissonance committed to "paper;" (wish i could take it back!).

the playful, loving part of me says, "quelle domage. i am human, after all." the memory and the feelings are what matters. these will be remembered. but one more important piece will be remembered by me: i have truly made one of my mistakes public! success in owning this, says she with a broad smile!

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